Feel Any Luckier Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for feel any luckier comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Any Luckier" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hiring Morons And Ted

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Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart

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boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.

Transfer Money To The Rich

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Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

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dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Impostor Syndrome

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Impostor Syndrome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend

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boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.

Punching Boss

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 Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas

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boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Marketing Complains

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Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

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boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Buzzflawed Interview

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Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

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carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

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Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #data, #analyze

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ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

Wally Stopped Trying

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Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work

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wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.