Fifty Choices Comic Strips
93 Results for Fifty Choices
View 1 - 10 results for fifty choices comic strips. Discover the best "Fifty Choices" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 26, 2020's comic on:
dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.
Share September 23, 2019's comic on:
Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.
Share July 23, 2018's comic on:
Boss: We have only two choices, and both of them are bad. SO we'll do the only smart thing we can do in this situation. Dilbert: Choose the path that is least bad? Boss: I was going to say pick the path that hurts our enemies the most, but you're ruining it with your talking.
Share July 21, 2018's comic on:
Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.
Share March 01, 2018's comic on:
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.
Share November 05, 2017's comic on:
Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?
Share June 28, 2017's comic on:
Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?
Share January 16, 2017's comic on:
Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?
Share December 07, 2016's comic on:
Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.
Share June 03, 2016's comic on:
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.