Fighting Comic Strips
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22 Results for Fighting
View 1 - 10 results for fighting comic strips. Discover the best "Fighting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 05,
2020
Clear Email From Boss
Tags managers & supervisors, servers, request, email, reply, project, update, fight, business
Transcript
boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?
Thursday January 02,
2020
Inefficiency
Tags managers & supervisors, inefficient, process, obsolete, market, technology, multidisciplinary, systems, fight, fire
Transcript
alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.
Thursday February 07,
2019
Robot Baby Mama
Tags argument, complaining, family & parenting, relationships, robot, humans, coworkers
Transcript
Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.
Tuesday May 09,
2017
Robot Attacks Boss
Tags machines, computers, fighting, violence, programming, technology
Transcript
Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.
Thursday March 02,
2017
Asok Is Offended By Wally
Tags offense, insult, offensive, fighting, nonviolent resistance
Transcript
Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.
Monday January 16,
2017
Rather Eat Garbage
Tags choosing, choices, boredom, listening, trash, garbage, suffering
Transcript
Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?
Thursday October 01,
2015
Tags fitness, martial arts, violence, fighting, yoga, misunderstanding, exercise, fusion, danger, health
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags Family, happiness, work, juggle work, fighting porcupines, salt mine, job, secretary, business, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Wednesday January 25,
2012
Tags business ethics, criticize, enjoy anticipation, fighting, incented, staff meeting
Transcript
Boss: I'm waiting for people to walk by so I can criticize you in front of others. Dilbert: What? Boss: I want the criticism to sting as much as possible so you'll be incented to do all the right things in the future. I guess it can wait until the staff meeting. Dilbert: That way I can enjoy the anticipation, too.
Tuesday January 24,
2012
Tags fighting, fraternization, virtual, ignorant blob, ugly wool suit, suggestions, form of questions
Transcript
Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

