Fix Furnace 1991 Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for fix furnace 1991 comic strips. Discover the best "Fix Furnace 1991" comics from Dilbert.com.

Doctor Appointment

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Doctor Appointment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #doctor, #office, #office workers, #medical advice, #essential oil, #attitude, #kava

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carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.

Counting Morons

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Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron

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office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.

Boss Edits Dumb Parts

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Boss Edits Dumb Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #edit

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the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

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ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

How Long Will It Take

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How Long Will It Take - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #office, #office workers

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the boss: how long will it take to fix the bug? dilbert: that depends. how long will you stand behind me and interrupt me? the boss: how should i know? i can't see the future?

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

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CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.