Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control?
Boss: I...am not...worried about...that.
Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner.
Boss: Must...post...selfie...
Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say.
Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from?
Boss: From something called an algorithm.
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request?
Boss: No, you used the old form.
Dilbert: Do we have new forms?
Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out.
Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking.
Ted: History repeats.
Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?
Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.
Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...
Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.
Tim: Hi, I'm Tim. Dilbert: That's enough. I formed a snap judgement. Studies say we form snap judgments about people.And I already did, so no need for details. Tim: I'm just looking for my phone. Dilbert: Yup, I already judged you to be flakey.
