Form Teams Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

134 Results for Form Teams

View 1 - 10 results for form teams comic strips. Discover the best "Form Teams" comics from Dilbert.com.

Genius Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Genius Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #products, #sales, #team, #shoddy, #incompetent, #marketing, #genius, #correct, #blush

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Potluck Celebration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #potluck, #friday, #team, #celebration

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Social Media Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...

Forming Your Own Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

History Doesn't Repeat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
History Doesn't Repeat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.

Neural Link To Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #phone, #technology, #invention, #cognition, #thought

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...