Free Food Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

356 Results for Free Food

View 1 - 10 results for free food comic strips. Discover the best "Free Food" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Uses Deep Fake

Thank you for voting.
Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Food Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Food Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #health, #Food, #poison, #work, #potluck

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: everyone who went to the potluck got food poisoning. i need you to do all their work while they are out sick. dilbert: were there leftovers? boss: there might be dilbert: can i have a plate?

Casserole For Pot Luck

Thank you for voting.
Casserole For Pot Luck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.

Teambuilding Celebration

Thank you for voting.
Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

Thank you for voting.
Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #desk, #office, #office workers, #cables, #stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Manipulation Via Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

The Candy Honor System

Thank you for voting.
The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.