French Staellite Comic Strips
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Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.
Catbert says, "I'm getting a lot of complaints about you eating your lunch in the clean room." Catbert says, "And people don't like it when you use a loofah in there." The Boss says, "That's my french bread. And I can't help it if my back itches."
The foodie with a huge forehead Man says, Mmmm, a pomme de terre frite with sea salt and just a hint of rosemary." Punch! Alice says, "That was a French Fry. And much like yourself, it was a salted."
Dilbert enters the Boss' office and asks, "Is it okay if I take naps during the day?" Dilbert then asks, "Or would you prefer that I make important decisions while groggy and delusional?" Dilbert continues, "Either way is okay with me. It's your call." The Boss doesn't respond and Dilbert leaves his office thinking, "He looks funny all purple." Back at his desk and half asleep, Dilbert thinks to himself "Must...stay...awake. Make...important...decisions." Dilbert continues, "Must replace optical switches with dancing lemurs." The Boss stands behind Dilbert as he sleeps. Now in an obvious dream state, Dilbert yells in his sleep "Gaaa! French people are touching me with cigarettes!" The Boss leaves Dilbert's cubicle thinking, "I hope that's how engineers design missile defense networks."
Carol is standing next to the boss's desk holding a folder. The boss is sitting at his desk while signing a sheet of paper says: "I speak English but I think in French." The boss hands a sheet of paper to Carol and says: "Someday I'll take French lessons to find out what the heck I'm thinking." Carol exits the boss's office and the boss thinks: "Croissant"
Phil drags Asok by his tie. Phil says, "Asok, come to my lair and I will teach you about reality." Asok and Phil stand by a dumpster. ASok says, "Your secret lair is a dumpster?" Phil says, "Get in" Asok and Phil sit in the middle of the trash in the dumpster. Asok says, "It's like my cubicle, but with much better lumbar support!" Phil eats a french fry and says, "French fry?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch. Dilbert is eating chips. Dogbert says, "I donated a billion dollars to the United Nations today." Dilbert replies, "That's nice of you." Dogbert says, "My only condition is that they name something after me." At the United Nations, three UN representatives sit at a table. The French diplomat exclaims, "For the millionth time: Yes, I'm sure we want to keep calling it France!"
Dilbert stands with a chef's hat and a cookbook. He thinks, "Making soup is easy for a highly trained engineer." Dilbert looks in the cabinet and thinks, "I don't seem to have any 'coarse sea salt.'" Dilbert shakes his salt shaker and thinks, "I'll just mix regular salt with water." Dilbert continues reading and thinks, "Corn starch...that's basically flour." He leans into the refriderator and thinks, "Marjoram...I think that's French for butter." Dilbert continues reading, "'Five inches of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese rind.' Uh-oh." Dilbert looks at eggs and says, "Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." Dogbert looks at his slice of steaming hot soup and says, "Is this supposed to be served hot?" Dilbert replies, "You're thinking of gazpacho."
Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Alice, did you hear that Dilbert's network connection isn't working?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Wally continues, "He is what we call a technology 'have not.' His competitiveness in the global economy will last as long as this french fry." Alice says, "So sad." As Wally gulps the french fry, Alice says to Dilbert, "After lunch, I'm going to use something called 'electronic mail.' You can watch if you promise not to touch anything." Dilbert looks angry.