the boss: wally, can you explain why your deliverables are late?
wally: an experiment at kit suggests there is no objective reality, so maybe i wasn't late.
the boss: i don't know how to respond to that.
wally: try smiling and nodding. maybe toss in an "oh."
The boss: "I don't understand anything you do, so I assume it's all useless."
Dilbert: "Maybe you could go to M.I.T. and get a degree in engineering so you would understand what I do."
The boss: "Would that be easier than not giving you a raise?"
Dilbert asks Dogbert who sits on the armrest of the couch, "Dogbert, I need your help dealing with a pathological liar at work." Dogbert says, "You're in luck. I happen to have a Ph.D. in Liatology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology." Dilbert crosses his arms and says defiantly, "I'd love to see your diploma." Dogbert replies, "I'll mail it to you."