Gaseous Cloud Comic Strips
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48 Results for Gaseous Cloud
View 1 - 10 results for gaseous cloud comic strips. Discover the best "Gaseous Cloud" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 14,
2020
Transfer Money To The Rich
Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.
Friday March 13,
2020
Personal Health Data
Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.
Thursday March 12,
2020
Selling Private Data
Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend
Transcript
dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.
Wednesday March 11,
2020
Recreational Data
Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation
Transcript
dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.
Monday March 09,
2020
Dogbert In The Cloud
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history
Transcript
boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.
Tuesday November 14,
2017
Watch That Monitors Health
Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags #virtual reality, #civil rights, #discrimination, #artificial intelligence, #rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.
Tuesday April 11,
2017
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix
Tags #jargon, #language, #matrix, #communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...
Tuesday November 08,
2016
The Virus Afterlife
Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.
Monday April 04,
2016
How To Send The File
Tags #brenna thummler, #cloud, #files, #guest artist, #options, #sharing, #technology
Transcript
Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.