Guest Cartoonist Comic Strips
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63 Results for Guest Cartoonist
View 1 - 10 results for guest cartoonist comic strips. Discover the best "Guest Cartoonist" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 14,
2016
Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist
Tags #Garfield, #hit man, #cartoonist, #mistaken identity
Transcript
Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.
Monday December 12,
2016
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real
Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions
Transcript
CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.
Saturday December 10,
2016
Cartoonist As Spokesperson
Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.
Friday December 09,
2016
Hire A Famous Cartoonist
Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business
Transcript
Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...
Friday May 27,
2016
Wally Is Employee Of The Year
Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.
Thursday May 26,
2016
Wally Gets Referral Money
Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!
Wednesday May 25,
2016
Recommening A Friend
Tags #bribe, #employee, #hiring, #money, #referral, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?
Tuesday May 24,
2016
Boss Can't Be Your Friend
Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags #honesty, #aspirations, #work ethic, #standards, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Saturday April 09,
2016
New Ted
Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.