Had A Spine Comic Strips

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492 Results for Had A Spine

View 1 - 10 results for had a spine comic strips. Discover the best "Had A Spine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Refusing Works

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Refusing Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #refuse, #stupid, #power, #leash, #head, #sarcasm

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dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #2 weeks, #contact, #cooties, #doctor, #doctors' offices, #infect, #physical, #tracing, #Women, #zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.

One Source Of Stress

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One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money

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dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

No Human Contact

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No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

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dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Sending Data To Elbonia

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Sending Data To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #proprietary, #data, #elbonia, #internet, #monitor, #activity, #conversation

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boss with face mask: our security team says you have been sending our proprietary data to elbonia. elbonian with face mask: you can't prove that. boss: i monitor all of your internet activities. elbonian: i monitor all of your internet activity, too. boss: then let's forget we had this conversation.

Clones Embezzle

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Clones Embezzle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #lunch, #sandwich, #company, #dissolve, #self-discovery, #consilting, #staffing, #clones, #embezzle, #journey

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dogbert in lunchroom with dilbert: i had to dissolve my consulting company because i made the mistake of staffing it with my clones. every one of them embezzled from me. that sort of ended my journey of self-discovery.

Hiring Morons And Ted

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Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart

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boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.

Wally Rounds Off

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Wally Rounds Off   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #work, #critical, #tasks, #failed, #enjoyment, #anger

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wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???