Hands Are Clammy Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

454 Results for Hands Are Clammy

View 1 - 10 results for hands are clammy comic strips. Discover the best "Hands Are Clammy" comics from Dilbert.com.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

Alice Borrows Stapler

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Borrows Stapler - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.

No Handshaking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Handshaking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #filthy, #hand, #invisible, #office workers, #see, #shake, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: sorry, i no longer shake hands. i can practically see the viral load on that filthy paw of yours. office worker: you can't "see" a virus. virus sound coming from hand: hee-hee! that's how we getcha.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Dogbert Narrates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Narrates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #narrator

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.

Complaints About Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.

Alice Won't Shake Hands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Won't Shake Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

Hot And Cold In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hot And Cold In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #thermostat, #disagreement, #hot, #cold

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.

Drone Defense System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drone, #help, #rescue, #inept, #failure, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.