Hire Emplyees Comic Strips
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183 Results for Hire Emplyees
View 1 - 10 results for hire emplyees comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Emplyees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 05,
2022
Elbonian Hire
Wednesday October 13,
2021
How To Hire Better People
Monday July 05,
2021
Racist Scapegoat
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business meeting, #hire, #racist, #racism, #woke gang, #human, #sacrifice, #attack, #scapegoat, #bloodlust
Transcript
boss: i hired a racist in case the woke gangs attack us and we need a human sacrifice. coworker: what? boss: when the wokies come for us, we'll throw this guy under the bus to satisfy their bloodlust. coworker yelling: i'm not a racist! boss: they won't know that.
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?
Tuesday May 04,
2021
Dick The Nemesis
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #hire, #nemesis, #social media, #bad, #idea, #doubt, #science, #workplace
Transcript
boss: i hired dick to be your workplace nemesis. you might know his work from social media. dilbert: this feels like a bad idea. dick: doubt science much? duhrr.
Friday November 20,
2020
Ghost Writer
Tags #author, #ghostwriter, #autobiography, #ghost, #fingers, #clothes, #keyboard, #business
Transcript
dogbert: you should hire a ghostwriter to write your autobiography. dilbert: that's dumb. a ghost's fingers would go right through the keyboard. dogbert: then how do their clothes stay on? dilbert: fair point.
Wednesday July 29,
2020
Bad Judge Of Character
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.
Saturday June 06,
2020
Confident Wrong Guy
Tags #boss, #confidence, #employees, #insults, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #hire
Transcript
Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.
Tuesday March 31,
2020
The Secret To Managing
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #manager, #hire, #people, #smart, #steal, #success, #rumor, #job
Transcript
boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.