dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project.
wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled.
panel shows office building with man jumping out of window,
voice: i quit
man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club?
dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage.
man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute.
dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data.
man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something.
dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere!
man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are.
dilbert: i am not a victim!
man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world.
dilbert: so... there's no way to win?
boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?
dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay.
elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men.
dilbert: i'm not.
catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence.
elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you.
dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.
Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats.
dilbert: i don't see hats.
elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now?
dilbert: i can't tell.
dilbert on couch with cell phone texting.
dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue.
tap tap tap
other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo?
dilbert: yes
dilbert walking outside with face mask on.
dilbert thinking: oh, no... i feel a non-coved cough coming on. must... control it... to avoid... looking infected.
dilbert on ground holding mouth.
man on sidewalk: what's up with him?
women on sidewalk: he looks infected.
dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat.
wally: what country would release a virus like that?
elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.
