Hit Man Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Hit Man
View 1 - 10 results for hit man comic strips. Discover the best "Hit Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 19,
2021
Garbage Man Advises On Tails
Friday June 18,
2021
Wally Helps The New Guy
Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment
Transcript
dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit
Sunday May 30,
2021
Frequent Victims Club
Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey
Transcript
man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?
Thursday May 13,
2021
Marriage Takes Work
Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work
Transcript
dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
Tuesday May 11,
2021
Bigoted Against Elbonian Men
Tags business, marriage, office workers, elbonia, report, bigot, irrelevant, innocence, prove, sale, flower
Transcript
catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.
Monday May 10,
2021
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats
Tuesday March 23,
2021
Lonely Man
Tags business, technology, zoom, discuss, issue, video call, voice call, attractive, lonely, Women, man, remote, work from home, cell phone, linkedin, profile, photo
Transcript
dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes
Wednesday March 17,
2021
Non Covid Cough
Tags covid-19, health & safety, exercise, cough, control, infection, face mask
Transcript
dilbert walking outside with face mask on. dilbert thinking: oh, no... i feel a non-coved cough coming on. must... control it... to avoid... looking infected. dilbert on ground holding mouth. man on sidewalk: what's up with him? women on sidewalk: he looks infected.
Wednesday February 10,
2021
Virus From Where
Tags business, health & safety, office workers, virus, beard, fuzzy, hat, country, release, luxembourg, elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.