Huge Jerk Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

249 Results for Huge Jerk

View 1 - 10 results for huge jerk comic strips. Discover the best "Huge Jerk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sales To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sales To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #government policy, #sales, #sale, #elbonia, #government, #ban, #accomplices

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.

Can You Zoom Now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can You Zoom Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #text message, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #response, #anger, #lack of response

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!

Wally Helps Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #claim, #co-workers, #critical, #help, #lie, #managers & supervisors, #problem, #teamwork, #validate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.

Everyone But Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #project, #success, #thank, #twice, #hear, #slow, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Appearing In Photos

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #technology, #social media, #friends, #Opinion, #abhor, #person, #characteristics, #jerk

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Tina Likes To Hum

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Answering Questions In Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.