Human Intelligence Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

405 Results for Human Intelligence

View 1 - 10 results for human intelligence comic strips. Discover the best "Human Intelligence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lover Not A Fighter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #software, #price, #lover, #fighter, #report, #human resources, #bully, #sexual discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

People Enjoy Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

Critics Not Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #office workers, #employees, #smart, #critics, #agreement, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!

Artificial Dumbness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Artificial Dumbness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.

Humans Making Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Wally Took Notes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Took Notes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #forward, #hungry, #insults, #intelligence, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #notes, #pandemic, #release, #schedule, #snack, #technology, #version, #covid

View Transcript

Transcript

staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.

Getting Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

One Source Of Stress

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

Makeup Under Mask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Makeup Under Mask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #makeup, #masks, #offended, #office workers, #pandemic, #human resources

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.

No Human Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.