Id Badges Comic Strips

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490 Results for Id Badges

View 1 - 10 results for id badges comic strips. Discover the best "Id Badges" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lover Not A Fighter

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Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #software, #price, #lover, #fighter, #report, #human resources, #bully, #sexual discrimination

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dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

Everyone But Ted

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Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #project, #success, #thank, #twice, #hear, #slow, #coffee, #sarcasm

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dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Robots Will Sneak Up On Us

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Robots Will Sneak Up On Us - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argue, #business, #employees, #enginners, #managers & supervisors, #replace, #robots, #technology, #train

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boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.

Karma Is Real

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Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask

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dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Chip For Tracking

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Chip For Tracking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #chip, #track, #employee, #badge, #convenience, #excuse, #coincedence, #face mask, #sarcasm

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boss: we are adding a chip to your employee badges so we can track your social distancing. dilbert: that sounds like a convenient excuse to do something you've always wanted to do anyway. boss: that's probably a coincidence.

Reasonable Doubt

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Reasonable Doubt    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #employees, #health, #leader, #coronavirus, #indoor, #face mask, #kill, #doubt, #sarcasm

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Carol: that stupid coronavirus is no match for a healthy, young leader such as yourself. freedom demands that you go to crowded indoor places without wearing your mask. boss: are you trying to kill me? carol: i'd say there's reasonable doubt.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #i.d. badge, #employees, #freedom, #tattoo, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

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  5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #social media, #bird head, #study, #apathy, #5g

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dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

Edits Without Tracking

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 Edits Without Tracking  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #business, #complex, #delete, #document, #edit, #email, #face mask, #forgot, #technology, #tracker

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co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #Advice, #personal, #life, #quality, #work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.