Idiot Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

136 Results for Idiot

View 1 - 10 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bigoted Idiot Applicant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Non Disclosure Denied

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Everyone Is An Idiot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is An Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, world, idiot, serious

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: sometimes, asok, i think everyone in the world is an idiot except for you and me. asok: i can't tell if you are serious. alice: i guess it's down to just me.

32 Page Slide Deck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
32 Page Slide Deck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idiot, input, insult, sadist, sarcasm, slide deck, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.

Safety Record

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Safety Record - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, safety, record, industry, best, face mask, untrue, lie, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...

Management Got Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Got Virus   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health, management, coronavirus, quarantined, work, wisdom, idiot, theme, face mask, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

How To Identify Good Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, decision making, smart, people, idiot, agree, disagree, good, bad, idea, rational

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debates, Opinion, expert, facts, current events, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Price Gouging

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Price Gouging - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, network, idiot, price, gouging, upgrade

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.