Idiot Comic Strips

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127 Results for Idiot

View 1 - 10 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Price Gouging

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Price Gouging - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #network, #idiot, #price, #gouging, #upgrade

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vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.

Adding Insult To Injury

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Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

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boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Average Idiot

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Average Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #office, #user interface, #idiot

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the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface? dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it. the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it. dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.

Never Give Reasons

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Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #debates, #internet, #Opinion, #social media, #idiot

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Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.

Speakerphones

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Speakerphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #phone call, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.

Training By Osmosis

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Training By Osmosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #formal, #training, #job, #absorb, #osmosis, #idiot, #rest, #staff

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The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!

Robot Learns Human Behavior

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Robot Learns Human Behavior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #bug, #robot, #sexist, #racist

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Dilbert: I built a robot that learns human behavior by observation. By the end of the first week it was a sexist, racist idiot. The Boss: Can you fix that bug? Dilbert: Some say climate change will get it done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical

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Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Unplugged Server

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Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

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Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?