Illness Comic Strips
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19 Results for Illness
View 1 - 10 results for illness comic strips. Discover the best "Illness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 22,
2020
Omit Information
Tags business ethics, illness, managers & supervisors, business, project, summary, mistakes, ethical, lie, violation, context, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?
Tuesday May 15,
2018
Do Not Implicate Boss
Tags sick, sickness, illness, contagious, deadline, responsibility, accountability, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: My project is two weeks late because you came to work two weeks ago and gave me the flu. Boss: Do you have any excuses that don't implicate me as the main problem? Dilbert: How about I say I didn't feel motivated and leave it otherwise vague? Boss: I can work with that.
Monday May 14,
2018
Boss Comes To Work Sick
Tags sick, sickness, illness, contagious, sick days, medical
Transcript
Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.
Wednesday February 28,
2018
Disgruntled Carol
Tags personality test, personality, mental illness, fear, threat, danger, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!
Thursday February 15,
2018
Boss Is Sane
Tags mental health, mental illness, managers, sane, insanity, logic
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.
Wednesday February 14,
2018
Pill For Boss Conversations
Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane
Transcript
Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.
Sunday December 18,
2016
Tags criticism, excuse, illness
Transcript
Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!
Friday October 23,
2015
Stress Typo On Website
Tags health, wellness, corporate policy, stress, medical leave, laziness, loophole, typo, mistake, work ethic
Transcript
CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.
Wednesday July 23,
2014
Tags executives, respect, prototype, economical, mental illness, level conscious
Transcript
CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.
Friday March 28,
2014
Tags illness, stress, culture of consulting fiorms, flat linig, false larm, graphs
Transcript
Consultant: I haven't slept since October because the culture of consulting firms is anti-health. I'm flat-lining! False alarm. I'm back. Who wants to make some graphs?

