In Charge Comic Strips
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114 Results for In Charge
View 1 - 10 results for in charge comic strips. Discover the best "In Charge" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 28,
2019
Zombie Projects
Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary
Transcript
the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.
Saturday June 15,
2019
First Time Doing Marketing
Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office
Transcript
dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?
Monday July 16,
2018
Elbonian Sales Video Assignment
Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.
Saturday April 28,
2018
Aggressive Littering
Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination
Transcript
Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.
Thursday March 22,
2018
Unplugged Server
Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?
Tuesday December 12,
2017
Dogbert The Loan Shark
Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest
Transcript
Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.
Thursday June 29,
2017
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move
Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.
Tuesday June 06,
2017
Be Creative With Funding
Monday February 20,
2017
Who Wants The Legacy System Job
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer
Transcript
Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!
Tuesday October 04,
2016
Dogbert's Reality Show
Tags #television, #reality, #cell phone, #battery, #charging, #Entertainment, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.