Innocent Tourists Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

23 Results for Innocent Tourists

View 1 - 10 results for innocent tourists comic strips. Discover the best "Innocent Tourists" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Robot Wants To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

Dilbert Goes To Jail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Goes To Jail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #innocence, #cyborg, #crime, #criminal, #fair, #fairness, #punishment, #jail, #responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chakras, #compatibility, #dancing, #dating, #yoga, #risk, #guzzle wine, #live music, #chakra energy, #hives, #hate dance, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #next project, #private shuttle, #moon, #innocent tourists, #vacuum of psce, #rationalizations

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Our next project is building a private shuttle to the moon." "Now if you make any mistakes, innocent tourists will perish in the vacuum of space." Dilbert: "We need to work on our rationalizations." Wally: "Is anyone really 'innocent'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

View Transcript

Transcript

Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feel guilty, #scam, #money, #smarter, #arrogance, #good system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever feel guilty for scamming innocent people out of their money? Dogbert: "No." "I only scam people who would do the same to me if they were just smarter." Dilbert: "So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?" Dogbert: "It's a good system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate everyone, #entire world, #weasels, #wide eyed, #innocent child, #unconditionally, #tiny wesels

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Today I realized I hate everyone in the entire world." Dilbert continues, "I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too." Dogbert asks, "How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?" Dilbert responds, "Tiny weasels."