Inspired Leaders For Centuries Comic Strips
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43 Results for Inspired Leaders For Centuries
View 1 - 10 results for inspired leaders for centuries comic strips. Discover the best "Inspired Leaders For Centuries" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 05,
2019
Leaders Have Differen Memories
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership
Transcript
the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.
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Thursday November 17,
2016
Followship Training
Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.
Sunday September 18,
2016
Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness
Transcript
CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Sunday May 03,
2015
Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote
Transcript
Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.
Sunday April 12,
2015
Tags #leadership, #praise, #admiration, #anger, #compliments
Transcript
Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.
Thursday September 18,
2014
Tags #emotional manipulation, #executives, #financial gain, #leader, #leaders, #less unlikable, #lonely job, #manipulation, #obliviousness, #popularity
Transcript
CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?
Sunday August 31,
2014
Tags #ten things, #leaders do, #nine habits, #successful people, #article, #time management, #tricks, #good leadership, #listening skills
Transcript
Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.
Sunday March 09,
2014
Tags #managers & supervisors, #fusion powered robot, #speed of light, #budget, #micromanaged, #leadership, #needy followers, #business
Transcript
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Sunday December 08,
2013
Tags #executives, #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #famous leaders, #copy, #16 hrs a day, #reading about industry, #leaders eat cake, #business
Transcript
Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.