Instructor Sees Comic Strips

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75 Results for Instructor Sees

View 1 - 10 results for instructor sees comic strips. Discover the best "Instructor Sees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Hires Stalker

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Boss Hires Stalker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #working, #remote, #stalker, #window, #homes

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boss on video conference with dilbert and wally. boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely. dilbert sitting in arm chair listening boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day. wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt: sorry. that's on me.

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Mandatory Blockchain Class

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Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

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boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Dilbert Murders Robots

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Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase

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dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business

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Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration

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Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?

Randy Sees Normals As Livestock

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Randy Sees Normals As Livestock - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #microchip, #technology, #nanotechnology, #ego, #cattle

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Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."

Wally Goes To His Man Cave

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Wally Goes To His Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lactation, #man cave, #nursing, #deception, #baby, #trick

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Wally: I secretly turned our unused lactation room into my man cave. Dilbert: What if someone sees you go in? Tina: You said only once, right? Wally: Once per day.

Wally Sees Tina On Tinder

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Wally Sees Tina On Tinder - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tinder, #dating, #online dating, #attraction, #awkward, #relationships

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Wally: Hey, I saw you on Tinder. Tina: Please don't say anything else. Please don't say anything else. Wally: I swiped left. Tina: Gaaa!

Wally Sees The Problem

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Wally Sees The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #problem, #expectations

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Coworker: You said you would have that done for me by today! Wally: Okay, I think I know what the problem is here. Coworker: You? Wally: That, plus your expectations.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

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If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

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Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.