Internal Business Units Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Internal Business Units

View 1 - 10 results for internal business units comic strips. Discover the best "Internal Business Units" comics from Dilbert.com.

Business As Usual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business As Usual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Monkey Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Monkey Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Monitoring Internal Messages

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Monitoring Internal Messages - Dilbert by Scott Adams

New Loyal Customers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Loyal Customers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, ceo, woke, advertising, dollars, loss, quarter, offend, straight face, botox, annoying

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?

I'm Not A Racist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I'm Not A Racist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, racism, racist, woke, demands, sacrifice, spare, proof

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice. boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose. male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not! voice from inside the building: he can't prove that!

Racist Scapegoat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Racist Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business meeting, hire, racist, racism, woke gang, human, sacrifice, attack, scapegoat, bloodlust

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a racist in case the woke gangs attack us and we need a human sacrifice. coworker: what? boss: when the wokies come for us, we'll throw this guy under the bus to satisfy their bloodlust. coworker yelling: i'm not a racist! boss: they won't know that.

Tina Misremembers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Misremembers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, cancel, communication, remember, text, message, confirm, trigger, cognitive dissonance, absurd, frogs, hooves, wrong, liar

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: why didn't you tell me you canceled the meeting?!! dilbert: i did. Tina: you absolutely did not. i would certainly remember if you did. dilbert: here are the text messages when i told you i canceled the meeting and you conformed. Alice in a daze. Dilbert: uh-oh. i seemed to have triggered cognitive dissonance. whatever you say next is likely to be an absurdity that allows you to be right when you are wrong. Tina: i told you frogs don't have hooves, but you insisted they did! admit you were wrong! i win you liar! dilbert thinking: this show never gets old.

New Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, approval, software, necessary, purchase order, questions, blockchain, stop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'd like approval to buy some software, and there is no hope you would understand why it is necessary. so just sign off on the purchase and don't ask any questions. boss: is it blockchain? dilbert: just stop.

Casual Day For Remote Workers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Casual Day For Remote Workers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, announcement, casual day, remote workers, dress, roadkill, morale, coffee, laptop, video conference

View Transcript

Transcript

boss talking toward laptop: tomorrow is casual day for remote workers. most of you already dress like roadkill, but see if you can take it down another level. voice from laptop: why are you doing this to us? boss: i hear it builds morale.

Redesign Power Button

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Redesign Power Button - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, experience, managers & supervisors, mocking, power button, redesign, sarcasm, team

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you redesign it so the power button is on the bottom? engineer: absolutely. our professional design team loves it when inexperienced people make suggestions. boss: i can't tell if you're mocking me. engineer: no, you can't.