Irony Comic Strips
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18 Results for Irony
View 1 - 10 results for irony comic strips. Discover the best "Irony" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 11,
2019
More Communication
Tags boss, communication, confused, distraction, irony, managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?
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Saturday November 03,
2018
Best Places To Work
Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Thursday July 19,
2018
Death By Ninjas Is Best
Tags ninja, hit man, optimism, frustration, irony
Transcript
Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.
Tuesday June 19,
2018
Negotiating Expert
Tags consultant, negotiation, training, irony, obliviousness, business
Transcript
Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.
Monday June 18,
2018
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday
Tags negotiation, irony, appointment, deadline, consultant, training, business
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.
Thursday June 14,
2018
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power
Friday February 10,
2017
Remove Yourself
Tags distraction, irony, productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: As the designated agile scrum, it is my job to remove distractions so you can work. Alice: Great. Remove yourself from my cubicle and you've done your job. Dilbert: That seems too easy. Alice: And yet you can't do it.
Friday January 01,
2016
Forgetting Meetings
Tags appointment, absent mindedness, forgetting, therapy, irony, psychology, psychiatry
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.
Sunday August 30,
2015
Tags manager, inspiration, entrepreneur, risk, irony, catch-22, creativity, creative, motivation
Transcript
Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.
Monday January 20,
2014
Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business
Transcript
Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!

