Large Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

87 Results for Large

View 1 - 10 results for large comic strips. Discover the best "Large" comics from Dilbert.com.

Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #obliviousness, #ignorance, #idiocy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #executives, #ignorance, #money, #powerpoint, #project unicron, #progress, #style, #substitute for subsatnce, #worker bee, #executives rspond, #clouds, #dollar signs, #slow clap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make a PowerPoint deck showing our progress on Project Unicorn. Dilbert: There hasn't been any progress. Boss: That's okay. Use a large font. Dilbert: Style is not a substitute for substance. Boss: You're thinking like a worker bee. There's no time for substance when you're at the top. Executives only respond to familiar colors and shapes. Clouds, dollar signs... that sort of thing. Dilbert: ...and in conclusion. Boss: Come on slow clap.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #crimes, #mobile (cell) phones, #large screen smartphone, #stealing, #life of crime, #chosen lifestyle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #stress, #10 thousand attendees, #don't be stressed, #nervous, #fall apart, #speech, #large audience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #engineers, #framework, #allow construction, #large scale analytical queries, #unstructured data, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: So, what do you do for a living? Dilbert: I'm working on a framework to allow construction of large-scale analytical queries on unstructured data. Woman: I'm a little turned on by that. Dilbert: Settle down. It's just a framework.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #ask ed, #dumb guy, #liar, #bad breath, #braggaty, #large pores, #combover, #describe me, #behind my back, #insecure guy, #steers conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #asking, #Family, #large, #leaving, #trouble, #busy, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Do you have any relatives?" Man says, "Yes, I have a huge family." The boss says, "In any given week, how many of them are dying, graduating, going to jail, or getting married?" Man says, "Maybe?six." The Boss says, "When would you have time to work?" Man says, "I have to go. Someone fell out of a tree."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clones, #duplicates, #confusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "What the??" Dilbert says, "Don't be surprised." Dilbert says, "In any large company there is at least one employee who is your exact replica and has the same assignment." Dilbert says, "Why didn't I know that?" Dilbert says, "I'm not your replica. I'm a look-alike that is much smarter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #ridiculous, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Tree says, "The economy scared me so badly that I turned into a tree." Dilbert says, "What?" Tree says, "It's the same as a blind person developing better hearing." Tree says, "When you're stealing cat food from convenience stores, I'll be living large on rainwater."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asked question, #contempt, #coworkers, #forgot answer, #game plyer, #large group, #paranoid, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Dilbert asked me a question in front of the entire group that I already answered last week. What kind of game is he playing?" Alice: Maybe he forgot your answer. Tina: That's crazy talk."