Late Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

173 Results for Late

View 1 - 10 results for late comic strips. Discover the best "Late" comics from Dilbert.com.

Can You Zoom Now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can You Zoom Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #text message, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #response, #anger, #lack of response

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!

The Timing Trick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Timing Trick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #timing, #trick, #neighborhood, #visit, #estimate, #eta, #home, #cancel, #promise, #late, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i'll be in your neighborhood saturday, maybe i'll stop by. dilbert: i'm not falling for that trick. tina: what trick? dilbert: the trick where you give me an estimated time and then push it back seven times until you cancel. i'll be stuck waiting at home until my whole day is wasted. tina: i promise i won't do that. i'll stick to the time. dilbert: what time is that? tina: depends how my day goes. dilbert thinking: and so it begins. tina: i'll text you if i'm running late.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Better Fast Than Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #office workers, #sadness, #sarcasm, #time, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Ceo Says Coronavirus Is Hoax

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Says Coronavirus Is Hoax  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #sarcasm, #suspicion, #virus, #pandemic, #hoax

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The coronavirus is a hoax. It is no more dangerous than a common cold. Dilbert: It's almost as if you are inviting the universe to smite you. CEO: Don't jinx me! Dilbert: It's far too late.

Dilbert Hates Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Price Gouging

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Price Gouging - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #network, #idiot, #price, #gouging, #upgrade

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.

Let Me Know If You Need Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #teamwork, #help, #work, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

Objective Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Objective Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mit, #deliverables

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, can you explain why your deliverables are late? wally: an experiment at kit suggests there is no objective reality, so maybe i wasn't late. the boss: i don't know how to respond to that. wally: try smiling and nodding. maybe toss in an "oh."

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.