Leaving Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
59 Results for Leaving
View 1 - 10 results for leaving comic strips. Discover the best "Leaving" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 09,
2019
Time Travel By Printer
Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting
Transcript
dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday July 31,
2018
Wife Starts A Business
Tags entrepreneur, business, divorce, marriage, assumption, small business, relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Thursday November 16,
2017
Work Until You Drop
Tags health, monitor, fitbit, energy, surveillance, wearable tech, dedication, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.
Friday August 18,
2017
Winning The Meeting
Tags meetings, game, cruelty, insult, criticism
Transcript
Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.
Sunday March 05,
2017
Tags time, delay, leaving, schedule, inconsiderate
Transcript
Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.
Friday November 18,
2016
Wally Comes In Early
Friday September 02,
2016
Messages For The Boss
Tags communication, internet, modernity, attention, distraction, excuses, technology
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.
Friday April 03,
2015
Dick Comments On Alice's Blog
Tags blog, comment, dick, internet, troll, personified, worked up, technology
Transcript
Man: Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Do you have anything for me to mock? Alice: I'm leaving a comment on a blog. Man: Okay, got it. Alice: Can you take it out of context? Man: Shhh! I'm trying to get worked up over nothing.
Saturday March 22,
2014
Tags anxiety, employees, hiring and budget problem, perfromance review, three people, will resign, slightest criticism, pre google thinking, business
Transcript
Alice: Before we start my performance review, I should remind you that it would take three people to replace me. And I will resign at the slightest criticism, leaving you with a huge hiring and budget problem. Boss: This was supposed to make you nervous, not me. Alice: That think is so pre-Google.
Saturday September 14,
2013
Tags Family, right to asylum, surveillance, execute dilbert, treason, top secret data, graves, shovel, backyard
Transcript
NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.


