Left Something Inside Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

813 Results for Left Something Inside

View 1 - 10 results for left something inside comic strips. Discover the best "Left Something Inside" comics from Dilbert.com.

I'm Not A Racist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I'm Not A Racist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #racism, #racist, #woke, #demands, #sacrifice, #spare, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice. boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose. male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not! voice from inside the building: he can't prove that!

View more books now

Deleting Before Audit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deleting Before Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #auditor, #suspect, #delete, #database, #believe, #incriminating, #hide

View Transcript

Transcript

internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

C Level Sacrifice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #stock market, #technology, #brand, #board, #fire, #Politics, #ruin, #human, #sacrifice, #chief technology officer, #performance, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.

Marrying An Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marrying An Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Boss Isn't Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Cameras Can See You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cameras Can See You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

Fired For Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #business, #technology, #employment, #fire, #offensive, #bad, #people, #twitter, #issues, #context, #sides, #associate, #monsters

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.

Worth Praising

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worth Praising - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #human relations, #positive, #reinforcement, #praise worthy, #praise, #leader, #first

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: you never give me any positive reinforcement. boss: first you have to do something worth praising. wally: you can't call yourself a leader if you make me go first.