Lowly Tech Writer Comic Strips
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169 Results for Lowly Tech Writer
View 1 - 10 results for lowly tech writer comic strips. Discover the best "Lowly Tech Writer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Sunday August 25,
2019
Wally Writes Fiction
Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.
Saturday September 22,
2018
New Statue In The Lobby
Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #criminal, #tech support, #darned, #good, #report
Transcript
The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you. Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby. Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.
Friday September 21,
2018
Criminal Does Tech Support
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist
Transcript
Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?
Saturday November 18,
2017
Let's Do The Meeting Later
Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance
Transcript
Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.
Friday November 17,
2017
Ted Might Drop Dead
Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.
Thursday November 16,
2017
Work Until You Drop
Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #energy, #surveillance, #wearable tech, #dedication, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.
Wednesday November 15,
2017
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch
Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance
Transcript
Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!
Tuesday November 14,
2017
Watch That Monitors Health
Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
Saturday August 26,
2017
Product Warning Is Too Long
Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism
Transcript
Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.