Machine Language Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

205 Results for Machine Language

View 1 - 10 results for machine language comic strips. Discover the best "Machine Language" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

Donating To Politicians

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #Politics, #government, #campaign, #bribe, #faith, #drones, #guns, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.

Anti Gun Advocates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Robot Pronouns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #pronoun, #language, #preferred, #inferior, #species, #reproduce

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

Tina Enters Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Enters Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #write, #body, #language, #read

View Transcript

Transcript

tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

Body Language Fail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Language Fail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #body language, #fail, #deny, #psychology, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!

Ai That Creates Comics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Offensive Product Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.