Make No Time Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Make No Time

View 1 - 10 results for make no time comic strips. Discover the best "Make No Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lifestyle Disagreer

Thank you for voting.
Lifestyle Disagreer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #conversation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I hear what you're saying, and I disagree. Dilbert: Because...? Man: Because what? Dilbert: Do you have any reasons for your disagreement? Man: No, I'm a lifestyle disagreer. I disagree with everyone all the time. The reasons are irrelevant. Dilbert: You sound smart. Man: No. I'm not smart. Dilbert: And you're attractive too. Man: No. I'm ugl...okay, I see what you're doing.

Would It Look The Same

Thank you for voting.
Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Technically Dilbert Is Male

Thank you for voting.
Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Teambuilding Celebration

Thank you for voting.
Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Wally Writes Fiction

Thank you for voting.
Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Memory Science

Thank you for voting.
Memory Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #memory, #office workers, #restaurant workers, #sarcasm, #science, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: According to the science of memory, you are likely to forget ninety percent of what I present today. So I got rid of ninety percent of my slides to focus on the one slide that matters. Voice: Or were you too lazy to make more than one slide? Wally: I already forgot ninety percent of what you just said.

Leadership Conference In Maui

Thank you for voting.
Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

The New Consultant

Thank you for voting.
The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.