Make Ship Date Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for make ship date comic strips. Discover the best "Make Ship Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Cancelled Presentation

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Cancelled Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #cancelled, #presentation, #meeting, #happy

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dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

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Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #data, #analyze

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ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

Nodding Approval

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Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #nodding, #positive, #reinforcement, #repeat, #boring, #relationships

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dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #business, #strategy, #products, #sell, #fair, #price, #new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Common Sense

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Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #common sense, #request, #specifications, #assumption, #sarcasm

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boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #bureaucratic, #employees, #incompetent, #inefficiency, #yin, #yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #underpay, #senior, #management, #accurate, #information, #engagement, #survey, #important, #underpaid

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boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.