Manipulate Owners Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

37 Results for Manipulate Owners

View 1 - 10 results for manipulate owners comic strips. Discover the best "Manipulate Owners" comics from Dilbert.com.

Manipulation Via Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2019's comic on:

Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Company Cheer

Thank you for voting.
Company Cheer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:

Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2018's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2017's comic on:

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Dilbert Characters

How Is Work

Thank you for voting.
How Is Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2015's comic on:

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #inventions, #morality, #robot, #robots, #emotionally manipulate, #slaves, #machines

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: How's work? Dilbert: I taught robots how to emotionally manipulate people and thus guaranteed that homo sapeins will become slaves to machines. Woman: I don't want to think about that. Dilbert: That's why it works.

Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2015's comic on:

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #marketing, #robot, #robotics, #slave, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #marketing leagl, #enslave humans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?

Free Will Is An Illusion

Thank you for voting.
Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

The Evil Robot Business

Thank you for voting.
The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2014's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #power (social sciences), #slaves, #a-b testing, #manipulate humans, #orange button, #mindless puppets, #legality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!