Minor Hair Injuries Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

201 Results for Minor Hair Injuries

View 1 - 10 results for minor hair injuries comic strips. Discover the best "Minor Hair Injuries" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Hair Day

Thank you for voting.
Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

Lawyers Take Years

Thank you for voting.
Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #years

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.

Offensive Product Name

Thank you for voting.
Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #Wally, #Dilbert, #coffee, #self-inflicted, #injuries, #interns

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.

Haircut On Company Times

Thank you for voting.
Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Boss Loves Criticism

Thank you for voting.
Boss Loves Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentee, #protege, #Advice, #competition, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

Pictures Lie

Thank you for voting.
Pictures Lie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #photos, #truth, #lying, #deceit, #photoshop, #public relations, #pr, #appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.

Robotic Hair Transplant

Thank you for voting.
Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

Humidity Is Wrecking Hair

Thank you for voting.
Humidity Is Wrecking Hair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hair, #humid, #bad hair day

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.