Monitor Phone Calls Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

558 Results for Monitor Phone Calls

View 1 - 10 results for monitor phone calls comic strips. Discover the best "Monitor Phone Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Calls

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Lucky Profits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Artificial Dumbness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Artificial Dumbness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.

Meeting Ending Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Boss Using Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Tracking Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Noble Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Sending Data To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sending Data To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #proprietary, #data, #elbonia, #internet, #monitor, #activity, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: our security team says you have been sending our proprietary data to elbonia. elbonian with face mask: you can't prove that. boss: i monitor all of your internet activities. elbonian: i monitor all of your internet activity, too. boss: then let's forget we had this conversation.

Spring Cleaning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spring Cleaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baboons, #birthday, #business, #cleaning, #criminals, #drunk, #files, #list, #servers, #spring, #white-collar

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.