Morale Improvement Award Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

181 Results for Morale Improvement Award

View 1 - 10 results for morale improvement award comic strips. Discover the best "Morale Improvement Award" comics from Dilbert.com.

Where The Problems Are

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #application, #app, #technology, #improvement, #dumb, #implement, #problems, #insult, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

No Talk About Morale

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

Punching Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Good Day At Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Good Day At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work, #morale, #engagment, #boredom, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: On a good day, the frustration and anger solve for the boredom. Dogbert: What's a bad day like? Dilbert: Same as a good day but with more questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #valor, #awards, #bragging, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employee award for valor goes to Wally. During the false alarm, we noticed Wally was not with the other evacuees. He stayed behind to make sure everyone else got out. At least that's what he told us later. Wally, do you have any words of inspiration for the group? Wally: Most of you are cowards. But imagine how good you would feel winning a non-monetary award for valor. Now I ask all of you to think about how you can repay me for my selfless valor on your behalf. Dilbert: Did you sleep through the fire alarm? Wally: Most productive nap I've ever had.

The Losing Team

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Losing Team  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.