Mother Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

71 Results for Mother

View 1 - 10 results for mother comic strips. Discover the best "Mother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #Women, #simple interface, #ruby on rails, #someone else mother, #sexist imbecile

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The interface needs to be so simple your mother could use it. Dilbert: My mother taught herself Ruby On Rails over a weekend. Boss: Then imagine someone else's mother. Dilbert: Can I imagine a sexist imbecile?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #live under bridge, #subordinates, #troll dna, #mother issues, #therapy, #therapist, #shrink, #patient, #couch, #pad and pen, #medical, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

None of my subordinates are supportive. I don't know why. Perhaps they're sensing that you have troll DNA. Um... What? Did your mom ever live under a bridge?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #magic, #thinking, #already exits, #morphic field, #pseudo scinec, #crappy genes, #filberts mother, #explains things

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassed of son, #Family, #food service industry, #insult, #locksmith, #mother, #named project manger, #paying for lunch, #restaurants, #sons occupation, #don't tell freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mother, #son, #sarcastic, #plant, #flower pot, #web only company, #imagination, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company is going to a web-only business model." Mom says, "That's terrific." Mom says, "What's phase three? Does it involve operating only in your own imagination?" Dilbert says, "Be nice." Mom says, "Maybe you can help me grow this plant back into a seed."