Mud Weasels Comic Strips
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56 Results for Mud Weasels
View 1 - 10 results for mud weasels comic strips. Discover the best "Mud Weasels" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 21,
2018
Lying To Weasels
Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness
Transcript
Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?
Friday March 21,
2014
Tags #telecommunication lines, #work ethic, #studies show, #telecommunters, #survey people, #lying weasles, #level of awareness
Transcript
Wally: You should let me work at home a few days per week because studies show that telecommuters put in more hours. Boss: How do they study that sort of thing? Wally: They survey people who work at home. Boss: What if those people are lying weasels? Wally: I wasn't counting on this level of awareness.
Sunday January 19,
2014
Tags #gods, #language, #elbonian language, #bixtappa, #deity, #mud adder, #strangle
Transcript
Boss: We discovered that our product name is an insult in the Elbonian language. So I hired an Elbonian to review our new choices. Elbonian: Gaaa!!! You have offended Bixtappa, the deity of unseasonably warm weather and twice-baked potatoes. Our tradition says I must now strangle you with a mud adder. Luckily, I brought one. Dilbert: Do Elbonians have a lot of deities? Elbonian: No, just the one. Dilbert: He seems easily offended. Elbonian: Grab the head and yank!
Tuesday March 12,
2013
Tags #exploitation, #work ethic, #territorial mud, #web page, #forced labor camps, #current job, #capture canadian
Transcript
Elbonian: Halt! You have entered the territorial mud of North Elbonia! I'll text you a link to a web page about our forced labor camps. You might like them. Dilbert: This looks better than my current job. Elbonian: No rush, but I have an appointment to capture a Canadian at eleven.
Thursday August 09,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #potential customers, #regular vendor, #worked, #detailed quote
Transcript
Wally: I worked every night for a month to come up with a detailed quote for one of our potential customers. Then those weasels used our quote to get a better price from their regular vendor! Dilbert: Did you really do all of that work? Wally: No, but it nets out the same.
Sunday October 17,
2010
Tags #elbonia, #bribe, #monkey god, #oobanoobah, #minister of mud, #steal, #office
Transcript
The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"
Friday October 02,
2009
Tags #orders, #job, #elbonia, #training, #lonely, #uncomfortable, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"
Tuesday September 01,
2009
Tags #meeting, #elbonia, #angry, #threatening, #kung fu, #frustration, #stuck, #business
Transcript
Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"
Tuesday October 30,
2007
Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"
Monday July 16,
2007
Tags #elbonian branch, #in my own country, #see you inperson, #mud, #work long hours, #wear dockers
Transcript
The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."