Naked Statues Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

41 Results for Naked Statues

View 1 - 10 results for naked statues comic strips. Discover the best "Naked Statues" comics from Dilbert.com.

Nervous About Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.

Wally Presents To Board

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"

Imagine He Is Naked

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #Advice, #nervous, #naked, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

Airport Scanners

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypothetical, #worst-case scenario, #pessimism, #nightmare

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awareness, #consciousness, #happiness, #obliviousness, #resentment, #revenge, #soul, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dreams, #aspirations, #science fiction, #writer, #writing, #novelist, #naked, #nudity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel. Even though I have no relevant training or experience. Should I follow my dreams? Dogbert: Yes, but keep in mind that the naked dreams are only suggestions.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying, #tardiness, #traffic, #vacuum, #freak accident, #vacuuming naked, #bad traffic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #dress for the job, #dress for the job you want, #fault, #guilt, #more specific, #naked, #clothes, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When I said you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have... I shouldn't have needed to be more specific than that. Wally: You have a way of making everything sound like it's my fault.