Search Results for "named in rats honor"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 114

Self Driving Car Named Carl

Thank you for voting.
Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

The Candy Honor System

Thank you for voting.
The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

Two People Named Tina

Thank you for voting.
Two People Named Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2018's comic on:

Tags #nickname, #name, #insult, #name-calling

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have two people named Tina at this meeting. To avoid any confusion, I will be assigning them nicknames. Carol: Who did that to you? Boss: Big Tina.

H Ired An Immersive Vr Employee

Thank you for voting.
H Ired An Immersive Vr Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #invisibility, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired an immersive VR employee named Kevin. You can only see him when you wear the VR headset. Dilbert: Um... Kevin, please stop doing that. Kevin: Oops. Sorry. I didn't think anyone could see me.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

Thank you for voting.
Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2016's comic on:

Tags #social media, #twitter, #public speaking, #embarrassment, #spokesperson, #killing, #racism, #assumption, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

View more books now

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2016's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Ask The Other Director

Thank you for voting.
Ask The Other Director - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2016's comic on:

Tags #reorganization, #logic, #managers, #solutions, #cheating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.

Company Policy About Dating

Thank you for voting.
Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2016's comic on:

Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok

Thank you for voting.
Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2016's comic on:

Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2015's comic on:

Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.