Negative Number Comic Strips

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149 Results for Negative Number

View 1 - 10 results for negative number comic strips. Discover the best "Negative Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

Prove A Negative

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Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #accusations, #negative

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ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Everyone Does Their Job

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Everyone Does Their Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating

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Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?

No Path To Success

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No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #proof, #guilt, #exoneration, #accusation, #negative

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Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.

Random Number Generator

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Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

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Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitting, #babysitter, #inexperience, #children, #parents, #cell phone, #communication, #Family, #technology

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Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #humility, #insult, #humble, #ghostwriter, #biography, #Advice, #business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Why Can't You Be Happy

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Why Can't You Be Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #negative, #negativity, #happiness, #catch-22, #happy, #psychology

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Boss: I'm tired of your negativity, Alice. Alice: Why can't you be happy about it? Boss: How can I be happy about something negative? Alice: Aren't you asking me to do that? Or am I missing the point?