Never Right Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Never Right

View 1 - 10 results for never right comic strips. Discover the best "Never Right" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Sneezes His Mask

Thank you for voting.
Wally Sneezes His Mask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #different, #face, #health, #mask, #office workers, #pundits, #sneeze

View Transcript

Transcript

wally sneezes and his mask flies out from his face and slaps him in the face and he falls out of his chair. wally: ah-choo!!!! slap! dilbert watching: the pundits were right- everything is different now.

How To Identify Good Ideas

Thank you for voting.
How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Real Data

Thank you for voting.
Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Better Fast Than Good

Thank you for voting.
Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #email, #office workers, #sadness, #sarcasm, #time, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

Thank you for voting.
Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Wally Will Be Right Back

Thank you for voting.
Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #minute, #desk, #help, #mystery

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Goggles Remove Humans

Thank you for voting.
Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Hiring Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hiring Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.