New Co Op Employee Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Co Op Employee

View 1 - 10 results for new co - op employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Co Op Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Where To Go To Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Where To Go To Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #feelings, #invitation, #lunch, #psychology, #social, #thai place, #hungry

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: where do you want to go to lunch? tina: i want you to suggest a place so i can say yes but still make you feel bad about it. dilbert: how about the thai place? tina: pffft. sure. i'm not that hungry anyway.

32 Page Slide Deck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
32 Page Slide Deck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idiot, #input, #insult, #sadist, #sarcasm, #slide deck, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.

Working From Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #distractions, #estimate, #family issues, #ipad, #video conferencing, #yelling, #zoom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

Building Codes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Wally Helps Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #claim, #co-workers, #critical, #help, #lie, #managers & supervisors, #problem, #teamwork, #validate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.

No Mask For Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Karma Is Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Wally's Restroom Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Restroom Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #responsibility, #employee, #tracker, #men's room, #social distancing, #business, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.

Chip For Tracking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chip For Tracking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #chip, #track, #employee, #badge, #convenience, #excuse, #coincedence, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we are adding a chip to your employee badges so we can track your social distancing. dilbert: that sounds like a convenient excuse to do something you've always wanted to do anyway. boss: that's probably a coincidence.