New Corporate Code Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Corporate Code

View 1 - 10 results for new corporate code comic strips. Discover the best "New Corporate Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Technology

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Wally Helps The New Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Non Disclosure Denied

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Must Register To Date

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #love & dating, #managers & supervisors, #company policy, #human resources, #new, #dating, #register, #link, #details, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.

Title Promotion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Virus From Where

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Bad Qualities Cancel Out

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Qualities Cancel Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #qualities, #character, #cancel, #micro-manage, #lazy, #backstabbing, #brave, #lie, #credibility, #believe, #employees, #success, #manager, #random, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.

Every Expert Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #technology, #work, #old, #new, #future, #expert, #entrepreneurs, #worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

The Moron Option

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #corporate rule, #vendor, #accounts receivable, #30 days, #pay, #payment, #exception, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.