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View 1 - 10 results for new house comic strips. Discover the best "New House" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Words

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New Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new words, #racist, #sexist, #power, #master switch, #server, #shelve, #politically correct, #face mask

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catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.

Artificial Dumbness

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 Artificial Dumbness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask

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dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.

People Believe Anything

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People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #argument, #business, #people, #believe, #anything, #whisper, #campaign, #rival, #management, #dumb, #covid, #pandemic

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all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #co-workers, #data, #Entertainment, #experts, #guess, #horoscope, #inaccurate, #new study, #office workers, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #face mask, #covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

First Time For Everything

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First Time For Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #amazing, #business, #business plan, #concept, #first time, #good, #managers & supervisors, #new, #pandemic, #face mask, #covid

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boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.

Placebo Effect New

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Placebo Effect   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #consultant, #science, #explain, #ancecdotal, #evidence, #misleading, #placebo, #effect

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dilbert: why do you keep explaining to me how science works when you know i already know? sciencesplainer: did you know anecdotal evidence can be misleading? dilbert yelling: yes!!! i knew that!!! sciencesplainer: have you ever heard of the placebo effect? dilbert: GAAAA!!!

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

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Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

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the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #sarcasm, #business, #sciencesplainer, #meetings, #interrupt, #condescending, #science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Carol Hoards

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Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #health, #office supplies, #copy paper, #hoarding, #shortage, #coronavirus

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dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

Ted Talks Creates A God

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Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

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new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.