No Boss Fooled Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for No Boss Fooled

View 1 - 10 results for no boss fooled comic strips. Discover the best "No Boss Fooled" comics from Dilbert.com.

Jumping Out A Window

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #boss, #listen, #repeat, #jump, #window, #bluff, #reiterate, #parachute

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Karma Is Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Omit Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Omit Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #illness, #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #summary, #mistakes, #ethical, #lie, #violation, #context, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?

Conflict Resolution

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Conflict Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #anger, #office workers, #conflict, #resolution, #discussion, #temperature, #idiots, #yammering, #sarcasm, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.

Silencer In Facemask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Silencer In Facemask - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #bored, #business, #covid, #face mask, #hear, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #play, #silencer, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i installed a silencer in our pointy-haired boss's face mask. now he's the only one who can hear himself talk, but he doesn't know it. here he comes. play along. boss has speech bubble with no words. boss's back is turned and has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh. okay. thanks. and i can do the same thing to the face mask of anyone else who bores me. dilbert has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh.

Wally's Restroom Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Restroom Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #responsibility, #employee, #tracker, #men's room, #social distancing, #business, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.

Chip For Tracking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chip For Tracking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #chip, #track, #employee, #badge, #convenience, #excuse, #coincedence, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we are adding a chip to your employee badges so we can track your social distancing. dilbert: that sounds like a convenient excuse to do something you've always wanted to do anyway. boss: that's probably a coincidence.

Doubled Income

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #income, #double, #insincere, #gesture, #pandemic, #people, #suffering, #coronavirus, #appearance, #empathy, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.

Applying Math To Guesses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.