No Electricity Comic Strips
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26 Results for No Electricity
View 1 - 10 results for no electricity comic strips. Discover the best "No Electricity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 12,
2018
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse
Transcript
Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.
Sunday July 09,
2017
Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?
Tuesday August 16,
2016
Boss Buys Software Without Help
Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business
Transcript
Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.
Tuesday April 28,
2009
Tags #coffee, #confused, #battery, #stealing, #electricity, #revenge
Transcript
Dilbert says, "What's on your back?" Wally says, "It's a battery." Wally says, "I recharge it at work with company electricity, then I use it at night to power my home appliances." Wally says, "If they cut my benefits one more time, I'll make a play for their water too."
Tuesday February 12,
2008
Tags #servers, #electricity, #virtualize, #trade journal, #software, #over shoulder, #computer, #boss, #worker, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss: Our servers are using too much electricity. We need to virtualize. I did my part by reading about virtualization in a trade journal. Now you do the software part. Why is your part taking so long?"
Thursday December 07,
2006
Wednesday July 28,
2004
Tags #founder of compnay, #tug up, #copper wire, #replaced tombstone, #huge magnet, #business practivces, #spin in grave, #generate electricity
Transcript
"We dug up the founder of our company and wrapped him in copper wire." "Then we replace his tombstone with a huge magnet." "With any luck, our business practices will make him spin in his grave and generate electricity."
Friday January 09,
2004
Tags #smokers, #harness energy, #unused computers, #create electricity, #outside everyday, #slope
Transcript
Dilbert: The smokers in this building take hundreds of trips outside to smoke everyday. We can harness that kinetic energy to create electricity ti power their unused computers. pant pant too much slope
Thursday September 04,
2003
Tags #make exceptions, #created on seeing machines, #dead dinosaurs, #animal prodcuts, #naked, #electricity from oil
Transcript
Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.
Sunday March 24,
2002
Tags #bad management, #company dying, #customer centric, #four small groups, #participation, #skits, #electricity
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our company is dying.. but not because of bad management." The Boss continues, "It's because we're not.." He points to a slide that says, "Customer centric." Wally raises his hand and says, "Well, I for one feel better knowing we have correctly identified the problem." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "That was a little thing I call participation; you should try it." The Boss says, "Now let's break into four small working groups." The Boss continues, "And develop skits based on our new focus of customer centricity." Dilbert says, "Um.. there are only four of us." He pauses and then says, "Wait.. nevermind." The Boss sits at the conference table alone and thinks, "I'll call my skit 'The Electricity of Customer Centricity."