No Loose Ends Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

31 Results for No Loose Ends

View 1 - 10 results for no loose ends comic strips. Discover the best "No Loose Ends" comics from Dilbert.com.

It Already Works

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Boss Ends Neural Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Dilbert Tries To Get Funding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Tries To Get Funding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #money, #spending, #projects, #upgrades, #technology, #software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.

Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fulfillment, #happiness, #satisfaction, #work ethic, #motivation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Remember, it's only work if you'd rather be doing something else! Tina: I would rather do anything else. Boss: Oh. In that case, you're trapped in a nightmare that never ends. Tina: I have a lot riding on the afterlife.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #wages, #media, #overpaid, #ceos, #executive pay, #sultan of brunei, #larry elliosn, #god, #Religion, #Entertainment, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The media is saying I'm overpaid compared to other CEOs. That's crazy. Do a benchmark study of executive pay, including the Sultan of Brunei, Larry Ellison, and God. Make sure my pay ends up somewhere in the middle so it doesn't look suspicious.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comic ends early, #embedded punchline, #follow passion, #joking, #made fat, #set up, #blank frame, #sight gag

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #waterworks, #invented filter, #raw sewage, #pure drinking water, #clean water, #upper container, #drank contaminated water

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #saving & investment, #raises, #debt crisis, #economic uncertainty, #board of directors, #stock options, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearences, #big cubicle, #loose weight, #project leader, #status system, #toilet paper holder, #wider cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.